Internal Focus: Building Relationships with BRMs and Peers

As BRMs, we should be experts in building relationships, but since no two relationships are the same, no one technique for building and improving them will work across the board. That said, I am always open to advice and guidance on any new skills or approaches I could use that could help me, so in thinking of others who may feel similarly, I thought I should share some of the tips I have received recently.

The first tip that was brought to my attention recently is that while we often think of technology bringing us closer together, it turns out that it can actually be a relationship killer, whereas face-to-face engagement can be a much stronger way of building relationships. While I’m still not sure that I entirely agree, it did make me think critically about my patterns of communication and human interaction. As BRMs, we should try not to hide behind a screen pinging emails back and forth, and instead get out of our offices and meet face-to-face. The reason for this is that so much is told via body language, which makes interactions flow and work progress.

When a BRM meets face-to-face with a business partner, they normally have one thing at the forefront of their mind: value. As much as the focus should be on value delivery, however, there are often some more subtle things to think about. Examples of these things can be as simple as eye contact, smiling, having an upright posture, and displaying curiosity leading to a connection based on a common interest. Even a smooth, fluid handshake has been proven to offer a greater connection than a jerky, rigid one. Other research suggests that people are more likely to be open to agreeing and being influenced after they have eaten and are sitting on a comfortable surface, so those post-lunch meetings should theoretically be much more successful than the ones just before lunch. However, it’s important not to force these subtle engagement changes—obviously, it’s not the best idea to hug someone you've never met whilst smiling in their face and offering them a sandwich to eat and a beanbag to sit on!

Once you’ve considered these social interactions, you need to think about the content of your engagements, beginning with a clear agenda that benefits each member of the meeting. After all, if someone isn’t benefiting from the meeting, then why are they there? It’s important to be transparent and inclusive about the intention of the meeting, let the relevant people in the meeting have their say, and prompt those who haven’t spoken for their opinion.

Beyond conversational engagement, the single most important part of relationship building is attentive listening. A BRM is not there to sell to the provider, but to listen and see how they can shape the provider to their business partner’s needs. Therefore, it’s critical to find out what is important to the provider, what drives them forward, and what they are working towards in both the short and long term, in order to have a successful relationship. All of this ties back to maintaining a level of curiosity that leads to finding a common interest or issue that can be worked on.

By building up from a sound social interaction base, to a clear and inclusive engagement, up to value delivery, a successful relationship will form—and more importantly, persist long after that initial interaction.