The Unflappable BRM

I was recently reminded of the importance of keeping a cool head during stressful situations  while reading articles about the new CEO of Google, Sundar Pichai. One story that went viral on the internet was the “cockroach story” he supposedly delivered at a recent speech. (I say supposedly as the story is at least four years old and he may not have even delivered it—you really can’t believe everything you read online—but regardless, the moral still holds true. Here is the story:

“At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew out from somewhere and landed on a guest, who promptly  started screaming. The guest began jumping around and wringing both hands, desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Their reaction was contagious, as everyone in the group also began panicking. Finally, the guest managed to push the cockroach away, but unfortunately, it immediately landed on someone else in the group. Now, it was the next person’s turn to continue the drama.

The server rushed forward to their rescue, but in the flurry of movement, the cockroach next landed on the server’s shirt. However,  instead of panicking, the server stood firm and composed, and observed the behavior of the cockroach patiently. After a few still moments, the server was finally able to calmly pick it off and throw it out of the restaurant.

Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, I began wondering, did the cockroach necessarily warrant the guests’ panicked behavior? If so, then why was the server able to handle the situation without any chaos?

I realized then that it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but rather my inability to peacefully handle the disturbance caused by their shouting that further disturbs me. The traffic jams on the road don’t disturb me inherently, but rather my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me.

More than the problem, it's my reaction to the problem that further creates chaos in my life.

Lessons learnt from the story:

I understood that in lieu of a knee-jerk reaction, I should instead respond. The guests in the restaurant reacted, whereas the server responded.

Reactions are instinctive, whereas responses take time to think about in order to save a situation from going awry, to prevent cracks in relationships, and to avoid making decisions while angry, anxious, stressed, or rushed.”  

This story shows how reactiveness can often cause increased panic, and exacerbate the situation rather than resolving it. On the other hand, a calm, measured response can bring value.

So how does this relate to the world of BRM? Well, although we would like to spend 100% of the time working strategically with our business partners, there will be times when a major incident occurs and our business partners and the provider will need us to help them through it. In these situations, the calm, unflappable BRM can play a key role by remaining calm and facilitating the cockroach’s removal from the restaurant. Adding value to a fraught situation is always appreciated, from both sides of the BRM role, so always try to remember to remain calm, gather the relevant information and respond accordingly or help facilitate the correct response.